Why I Feel so Blue?

Finally I’m free from the BEC things, now I can spare my time on whatever I really like, such as to finish the EVA episodes, implement some ideas related to Douban, devote more time on reading, pick up the Japanese language learning and maybe give a sneak into Ruby.

I should have felt much better, but why suddenly a blue mood stroke my head ? I have a strong feeling that somehow I’ve lost everything I should have got. Or just becuz I failed myself in the exam.

Shame to say, I didnt do well in the BEC exam at all. The listening part was horrible, I was initially quite confident with this part becuz I’ve got used to the British accent after several practices and the results of the practices appeared rather appealing. Nonetheless, my radio signal was intercepted by another radio station, I heard TWO different voice simultaneously, needless to say, this inevitably broke my concentration…Pretty bad luck.

The writing part was not so difficult as I imagined, however, I scribbled it in a hurry due to the limited time left. Shit, my handwriting was ugly and stupid!

Not until the afternoon’s speaking task had I realised that my oral English regress so much. Partly becuz I havent opened my mouth for quite a long time … shame.

Well, it was all over, worry doesnt help a bit. Wish I had a luck escape, anyway.

Deep down, the real thing makes me unhappy is not the BEC exam itself, but the fact that I failed myself, I could have done much better, there is no excuse to forgive myself since I know my capacity are quite beyond what i’d archivedachieved. It is easy to please others, but it’s never been easy to satisfy myself.

I’m in badly need of finding something consolable or joyful to do. The blog will back to regular update again.